


Certified Idiots™

by OhMyGlobWhatthefrickamievendoing



Series: GN! MC x Mammon prompts [5]
Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Angst, Emotional Constipation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everyone loves each other but they're all just stupid af, Fluff, Gender-Neutral Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Mammon & MC are two halves of a whole idiot, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Oblivious Mammon, Oblivious main character, Other, Protective Lucifer, Protective Main Character, Protective Mammon, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Worth Issues, Taking advantage of the fact that mammon canonically cries the most, Tumblr Prompt, unnamed main character - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:22:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25975111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OhMyGlobWhatthefrickamievendoing/pseuds/OhMyGlobWhatthefrickamievendoing
Summary: Someone had hurt their First Man and they'd walk through hell to make things right.
Relationships: Main Character & Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Main Character/Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Reader, Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader
Series: GN! MC x Mammon prompts [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1854172
Comments: 54
Kudos: 504
Collections: obey me! hot devil lover simulator





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Mammon exemplifies that one can be both Baby™ and A Bastard™
> 
> This is my longest obey me fic and it was for a tumblr request so I hope y'all enjoy it!

They didn't think much of it at first.

Why would they? It was just the brothers having another silly little competition for their approval, it barely registered in their mind. 

It certainly wasn't anything new.

They'd been sincere in their answers to those who'd expect a serious answer and to the ones they knew would need it, while they'd replied more playfully to the ones they knew could handle it. As far as they were concerned the topic was over, and the brothers would easily move on to something else.

Right?

* * *

The first sign that something wasn't  _right_ was during breakfast the next morning. 

Mammon had slinked into the room, much later than was usual for him, settling into his seat with none of his usual bouncing-off-the-walls energy, and resolutely avoiding eye contact with anyone at the table. He toyed at the food on his plate, ignoring the daily jabs by his brothers with a lowered head until they had eventually gotten tired and moved on to Levi as their next target.

To their own much softer inquiries he had answered with noncommittal grunts, his shoulders rising up to his ears with each of their questions, until they too had slowly stopped. Put off my his unusual discomfort.

With a screech of his chair, that had put a stop to any other ongoing conversations at the table, he left as quickly as he had come. The sound of the front door opening signaling he'd left the house entirely, presumably to RAD. 

"Lol," Levi said, glad to get the attention off himself, "what's his problem?"

"He was probably out all night again," Asmo replied, a sweet smile in place, "gambling, drinking. You know how he is."

"Maybe he hasn't been sleeping again," Beel said, quietly, eyeing Mammon's still full plate. 

"It's probably just the witches again," Satan says with a sigh, already looking bored with the conversation.

"You should walk with us today," Belphie said through a yawn, staring at them with tired eyes as they passed Beel Mammon's plate.

"Sure," they reply, trying to stamp down the knot of worry blossoming in their chest. They let their gaze dart to Lucifer, as conversation begins around them again, trying to catch his eye. But he remains staring straight ahead at the shut door, the slightest furrow between his brows.

It was all fine.

Right?

* * *

  
Something was wrong.

They were sure of it.

Mammon had been suspiciously quiet the whole day. He'd kept his head firmly lowered during class, his jaw tight as his hand flew across the page taking down notes that he'd usually borrow from them.

They turned down to their own notes.

Empty.

Hell was definitely freezing over.

* * *

He was avoiding them.

They were sure of it.

During their shared break they had rushed after him, elbowing through the crowded halls and daring to sneer at any demons who complained. They had much more important things to worry about than getting eaten alive.

Even with their use of excessive force, Mammon had managed to lose them and they resigned themself to sulkily sharing lunch with the angels and Solomon.

Maybe Mammon wasn't the only one who was a little too attached.

* * *

  
They were worried. 

The knot that had formed at breakfast had grown and tightened until it threatened to suffocate them. They were anxious. Restless. Unable to shake the thought that something bad had happened. Something awful, terrible, devastating had happened and hurt Mammon. And they had missed it. _Someone_ had hurt Mammon and now he was shying away from them. And they had missed it.

_Some best friend they turned out to be._

They paced in front of his last class, five minutes before it was set to finish. Should they be here? Should they be doing this? Were they pushing him too far? 

On a normal day Mammon _needed_ to be pushed towards more sincere conversations.

But today. 

Today wasn't a normal day and they still weren't sure how one must deal with this softer, quieter Mammon that popped up whenever someone managed to find a chink in his armour. A weak link that a knife or a harsh word could easily slip through. Could easily cut into the soft flesh hidden underneath his hard exterior.

They shook their head in a futile attempt to rid themself of that horrifying imagery, vowing to find out who had hurt their First Man and _fight_ them. Be it Lucifer or a witch. They were not a violent person. But for Mammon? _For Mammon they could try._

They are startled out of any more elaborate plans of vengeance when the door next to them opens minutes before Devildom History is scheduled to finish. 

Mammon slips out. 

He looks tired. Their chest tightens.

"Mammon?" They don't mean for their voice to come out like that. Soft. Unsure. 

Mammon startles, whipping his head around towards them, and blushing.

"Hey," he said, his voice rougher than it should be.

"Hey," they echo back.

"Liste-"

"Is something wrong? Are you ok-"

"No."

"What..."

"No, nothin's wrong. Just busy ya know," he shifted his weight, hand clenching on the strap of his bag, "Look I've gotta go."

They wanted to move closer. Wanted to cup his face, feel that unnatural warmth under their palms, see the mischevious light dancing in his eyes. They didn't think they would be allowed to. Not right now. So they ask, "Another gig?"

"No. Library."

They blink. Surprised. "Oh...that's-"

"Surprising. I know. Didn't think I could read huh?"

And for a second his face looks cold and hard. And for a second he looks nothing like Mammon. And then it's gone. His face folding into something so deeply hurt it causes tears to prick at the corner of their eyes but before they can open their mouth, before they can reach out to him, he's shuffling back, looking dejected.

"Sorry," he says quietly to the ground, "didn't meanta snap. Head home with the others, I'll catch up with ya." 

He raises his head to flash them the smallest of smiles before he's turning around and walking away. And they're left standing there, in the middle of the hallway as students start to flood it, feeling like they've let something incomprehensibly precious slip through their fingers. 

* * *

  
He doesn't catch up to them and he doesn't come for dinner, which passes as an unusually sombre affair.

Hours later, in their room they hear Lucifer yell at Mammon for missing dinner but by the time they make it to the hallway he's gone, leaving only Lucifer behind.

Lucifer looks as disgruntled as he'd ever let himself look, eyes distant, noticing them only when they call out to him.

"Where's Mammon?"

"His room."

"Oh. Did - is he okay?"

Lucifer looks over at them, his eyes softening, "I don't know. Whatever it is he'll get over it. He only needs time." And with that Lucifer turned to leave, fondly ruffling their hair on the way up the stairs.

They watch him leave.

Time.

Time.

Time.

* * *

  
_Time_ does nothing and they're almost tempted to scowl at Lucifer even as his own mood seems to have worsened over the last few days.

 _Mammon_ has yet to break free from this new quieter creature that now inhabits his body and the rest of the brothers have descended into various states of agitation.

* * *

  
Three days later and the mood at breakfast is tense and deadly. The plates are cleared within minutes as everyone scrambles to get to RAD as fast as possible without having to walk together.

They eventually leave as well, tagging along with Beel who seems to be the least affected by the suffocating gloom that had descended on the house. Beel's appetite, however, while still nowhere near that of a regular demon's had diminished from his usual standards, so maybe that was all the more telling.

"It's because of Mammon." He says quietly, as if reading their thoughts "they won't admit it but Mammon being upset is upsetting everyone else. You too." He glances at them before turning his eyes back on to the sidewalk in front of them. "You should talk to him."

"Why me?"

"Because he'll listen to you."

"Oh."

"Get him something to eat too. He hasn't been eating much."

"Okay."

"Okay."

"Thank you, Beel."

He looks back down at them, smiling kindly but not saying a word.

The walk to RAD passes in comfortable silence.

* * *

  
_'Hey Mammon?'_

No.

_'Hiii buddy!'_

Ugh

_'Are you okay'_

**No.**

_I'm scared. I'm terrified that someone hurt you and I didn't notice and that's insane isn't it you're thousands of years old you survived so long without me you can handle yourself but I'm worried because you're acting weird and the others are acting weird because they're worried too and you're avoiding me and I miss you I miss you so much mammon and I don't like seeing you hurt and I'm scared I hurt you did I hurt you mammon pleas-_

Nope. No. Too much.

They frantically delete the unsent text until they were once again staring at their blinking cursor. It was exactly twenty minutes since dinner had finished meaning Mammon must be in his room and it'd be so easy to go to him. To talk. 

_But._

But they were being a coward.

Angry at themself, they scrolled through their previous messages, unable to help the smile that formed at his responses right up until they came to their last chat and oh.

Fuck.

Shit.

_**Fuck.** _

They were an idiot, weren't they?

* * *

  
It takes them less than a minute to get to Mammon's room and three whole minutes to debate whether they should knock. 

They don't. Instead they push open his door, like it's any other day, like he has absolutely no reason to hate them. 

"Mamm-" they pause, as he leaps off his couch, sending papers flying, staring at them with horror. 

His eyes are swollen and red and he scrubs at them frantically, even as he tries to will his voice into something close to his usual, "what's up?"

And they're stumbling on their own feet, as they kick the door shut behind them and sprint the remaining distance, leaping over his coffee table and slamming into him with a bone crushing hug. 

They take a shuddering breath. Breathing him in. He smells like coffee and something distinctly metallic. He smells like Mammon. Familiar. _Safe._

They hug him tighter, even as he yelps and squirms. He feels warm and solid in their arms. _They were so fucking stupid._

"Hey," he says oh so gently, placing his hands on their shoulders and prying them away, "What's wrong? What happened? Did anythin' happen? Who hurt ya? I swear ta - _someone_ , are ya okay? If ya not I'm gonna-"

And they're laughing. Hysterically. They _hurt_ him. They made him cry. Made him withdraw from all of them. And he was worried about them. Was ready to go fight on their behalf. _They were so fucking stupid._

And so they laughed and laughed and _laughed_ , until tears were pouring from their eyes and their body was shuddering. Until he pulled them close and threaded his fingers through their hair while his other hand rubbed at their back. 

They burrowed their wet face into his neck and sobbed their incomprehensible apologies while he whispered his own _for not being there. For not protecting them. For whatever that had hurt them. For a crime he did not commit._

And they hated this. They hated being vulnerable in a world where anything and everything could kill them. But for Mammon? _For Mammon they could try._

With one last shuddering sigh, they move back, wiping off their face in their sleeve, they give him a small smile, "Sorry."

"What was that for?" He asks, worry still as apparent.

"Guess I just missed you."

 _"What!"_ He startles, flushing, his mouth opening and closing soundlessly.

"We all missed you Mammon."

And he frowns. Face closing off. "Don't. I'm not- I know. Jus' don't _okay_. Don't lie to me. _Please_. Okay?"

"I'm not- Mamm- I'm not lying Mammon! We missed you, we all missed you so much. And I'm - listen I'm sorry. God- _shit sorry_ \- fuck I'm sorry about everything. I didn't think and I was so fucking stupid and that's not an excuse Mammon, it's not but -"

"What the hell are ya rambling about?"

They stop to stare at him again. His features are closed off but they see the uncertainty, the hurt, swirling within.

"The text. I'm sorry I called you an idiot."

He snorted, looking away. "Wha's wrong with that? It's the truth ain't it? You know it. They know it. _I know it._ I just thought maybe you'd-" he cuts himself off. 

He's still staring away but his eyelids flutter rapidly, trying to starve off the tears, and they're taking a step forward cupping his cheek and gently turning his face towards them. Until they have direct view of his face. The wet blinking beautiful eyes. The trembling lips. The heartbroken expression.

Oh.

Oh no.

Their own heart twists. _How could they ever-_ They swallow past the lump forming in their throat, thumbing away at an escaped tear, as he unconsciously leans his head in to their palm.

"I don't want you to pity me," he says softly, "I don't want- look _I'm tryin' okay_. I'm tryin' but it's hard but I'm gonna keep on tryin' then you'll - they'll - I don't wanna be scum anymore. _I don't like_ \- it's not like I try ta be a problem- I just- _I'm tryin'_ \- I really am- don't wanna be _stupid or worthless or useless or_ -" 

And they watch in horror as he he breaks off, sobbing in earnest now, using his hands to press at his eyes. Trying to preserve that last shred of dignity. 

They pull him down on to his couch, their own damp cheeks forgotten even as their heart breaks and their mind screams _yourfaultyourfaultyourfault_. Taking hold of his arms, they carefully lower his hands before bringing him towards them. Letting him settle into the crook of their neck and stroking through his hair the way they know he likes. 

Ignoring their own blurred vision they clutch him closer to them, wanting more than they can physically understand to take away all his hurt. 

"You're not an idiot Mammon. I was just- I was being stupid." Hearing the start of a protest they say, "No. I was. Just listen. I'm- No. Wait. Let me just. I take it back. _You are an idiot._ "

He tenses in their arms, shifting to try and move away, but they only hold on tighter. 

"You're an idiot like Lucifer is an idiot for thinking Cerberus was an intimidating name and didn't just mean Spot. Like Lucifer is an idiot for thinking he can handle everything on his own. Like Levi is an idiot for sleeping in a bathtub. Like Levi is an idiot for thinking he's worth any less because he's an otaku. Like Satan is an idiot for thinking a murder scene was the time to start geeking out over some _fictional detective._ Like Satan is an idiot for thinking he has to always compare himself to Lucifer. Like Asmo is an idiot for spending four hours in the bathroom every morning. Like Asmo is an idiot for thinking people won't love him if he wasn't pretty. Like Beel is an idiot for drinking the detergent again. Like Beel is an idiot for thinking the things that happened in the past were his fault. Like Belphie is an idiot for sleeping through three days. Like Belphie is an idiot for thinking Lucifer no longer absolutely adores him. Like I am an idiot for trying to pet Cerberus.-"

"YOU WHAT!?" 

Mammon jerks away from them, eyes wild but no longer tearing, taking them in frantically as if he had previously over looked any missing limbs.

They can't help the soft but bright laugh that slips out. _They love him, don't they._ What else can this warm, fluttering, all encompassing, _terrifying_ feeling be.

They cup his face again, making sure he's staring straight into their eyes when they say, "Like I am an idiot for thinking you already knew how much I treasure you."

He squeaks, jerking back in surprise but they press on, "You're an idiot for keeping a car in your room," ignoring his indignant protests, "You're an idiot for thinking anyone of us doesn't adore you just the way you are. For thinking that Lucifer isn't proud to call you his brother. That you weren't the only demon Lucifer could ever trust to look after a human for Diavolo. That Levi doesn't envy you. That Levi doesn't resent your charm and your energy, so much that he doesn't see his own. That Satan doesn't look up to you. Doesn't base his own self control off yours. That Asmo wouldn't be bored without you. That you aren't the only one who can keep up with Asmo's kind of fun. That Beel doesn't love you as much as he loves all of us. That he doesn't go out of his way to spend time with you. That Belphie doesn't know just how important you really are. That Belphie doesn't know how you're what's holding us all together."

He's crying again. Silently this time. Tears slipping down his cheeks as he stares at them with wide eyed wonder. Sparkling with laughter or shining with tears his eyes were as beautiful as ever. _Though they knew which one they'd prefer._

They lean forward to press a gentle kiss onto each eyelid, smiling as he whines and leans into them when they move back.

"You're an idiot for not realising how absolutely brilliant you are. How I would be dead if you weren't there."

They use their hand to brush back his soft bangs, watching as his bright eyes track them. _They love him_. They love him like this, soft, vulnerable and needy, hanging on to each of their words with a single minded sort of desperation. And they'll love him when he's back to being the Mammon they're more familiar with. The Mammon who is loud and energetic and obnoxious. The Mammon who is kind and caring and giving. The Mammon who is greedy and possessive and demanding. The Mammon they can always depend on to be by their side. The Mammon who took his responsibility over them more seriously than they could have ever imagined. The Mammon who was comfortable and safe. The Mammon who was their partner in crime, an idiot and kind of an asshole.

Because it was Mammon, this strange, complex being that had readily latched himself to them that they were completely and unashamedly in love with.

They press their forhead to his.

He presses back.

Their hands clutch at each other.

_"You're an idiot for not realising how easy you make it to fall in love with you."_


	2. Chapter 2

The screen in front him blurred, as his thumbs trembled over the keypad.

_Idiot._

His throat hitched. A warm damning tear slipped down his cheek.

 _Idiotidiotidiot_.

Fuck.

_Why was he crying._

He scrubbed angrily at his eyes even as more tears slipped down. He was being stupid.

 _You're an idiot_ , read the text.

And there was anger, centuries old, swirling in his chest. Begging, _pleading_ , to finally be released. To show them all why exactly he was the second oldest. Show them all he was more than just some _greedy, scummy, stupid, worthless demon._

But he couldn't, could he. 

Because he loved them. Loved the human. And loved his brothers. Because he knew, when all was said and done, _they were right_. 

_He_ was the one who couldn't control his sin. 

_He_ was the one who was always getting in trouble for his sin.

There had to be some truth in it, right? 

Specially, _specially_ , if the human who managed to see the good in all of them, managed to peacefully sleep curled up next to Belphie after he _murdered_ them, saw it too.

His breath hitched. 

He shouldn't have asked them that _stupid_ question. He should have known. Should have known exactly what their answer would be. Either he's _an idiot_ or he's _greedy_. There was nothing else to it. He shouldn't have held on to any hope. Shouldn't have thought that there'd be something worthwhile in him for them to find.

He typed out a response without a single thought, tossing his D.D.D. away after and curling up into his messy bed. His back shook as he finally let himself cry in earnest. Let himself cry for every single word that had been said, for every single wound that had been made, for every single time he'd felt alone in a house of seven. For ever hoping that a human might actually like him, let alone fall in love with him.

Idiot.

* * *

  
He had a plan for breakfast. Get in and get out. Keep his mouth shut. He didn't think he could do it today. Didn't think he could survive it, not when his eyes were still burning.

It was fine. He was managing. Sure his eyes burned with each word the others said, each striking at an already exposed wound. But if anything, this was his fault. He was a demon wasn't he? This shouldn't bother him. It never had before, right? 

He knew they'd eventually grow bored.

And they did. They moved on to other topics and he'd be able to make it through. Until the human inched closer to him.

"Are you okay?" They asked softly enough that only he'd hear it.

The plate in front of him blurred. Why would they-

"Did something happen, Mammon?" Their voice was soft and caring. And he didn't want that. Couldn't they actually hate him. Couldn't they treat him like he was scum. If they cared, _if they cared_ , that meant he _was_ stupid. It wasn't an insult they used _just_ to pick on him. It was the truth they saw because they cared. His fingers trembled. He grunted something noncommittal, his shoulders rising and tensing. 

"Are you sure? You seem-" they reached out to touch his hand and he tensed. 

He couldn't cry. 

Not here. 

Couldn't let them see him breakdown. 

_His brothers._ To them it'd be just another reason why he was bad at being a demon. Another reason why he didn't belong here. To the human. _To the human_ it'd be just another reason to pity the stupid demon that had attached himself to them so easily. 

He shook his head slowly, inching his hand away, replying to any of their queries with soft noises. Feeling somehow both relieved and even more upset when they moved away and went back to their own food. 

He got up. 

He wouldn't be able to last any longer.

And he was out, walking to the door as fast as possible and out the house breath catching as he sobbed pitifully.

_What the fuck was wrong with him._

* * *

  
At RAD he comes to a decision.

He's gonna fix himself. Make himself someone who was easier to love. Maybe then they'd-

It wouldn't be hard, would it? Satan does it. Satan has such complete control of his sin it was easy to forget what it actually was. If Mammon could. If he could control his greed then maybe they'd- 

If his thoughts weren't occupied by the latest money making scheme then maybe RAD would be easier? Maybe he wouldn't have to keep repeating his classes? And maybe Lucifer would be proud to call him his brother? And maybe Levi won't resent him after he's made back his debts? And maybe Satan wouldn't be tired of having to constantly tutor him? And maybe Asmo wouldn't wish he never existed? And maybe Beel wouldn't tolerate him just because he was family? And maybe Belphie won't think he's useless? And maybe they'd love him? And maybe...maybe he can fix this.

* * *

  
It's not as easy as he'd hoped. 

He keeps his head down during class, biting his cheeks to stop his mouth from running with the first thing that comes to his head, while their lecturer continues talking.

He let's his hand whiz across the paper, taking down every single thing he can but he knows there are gaps where he wasn't able to stop his mind from drifting to things he genuinely cared about. 

But he can fix that! Easy! 

He'll just have to skip lunch and head to the library, write out his notes clearly and fill in any missing gaps of information with what he finds in the text books. He doesn't need to borrow their notes like he usually would. He doesn't need to bother them. He wants to change. To change in such a sudden and dramatic way that they'll have to take notice. 

And maybe it won't make them love him, maybe they already loved someone responsible like Lucifer or dependable like Satan, or giving like Levi or caring like Asmo, or kind like Beel or comfortable like Belphie, but maybe. Maybe it'll make them like him. Really like him without only just pitying him.

* * *

Determined to actually see something through for once, he heads to the library during lunch.

Writing out his notes take longer than he'd like, there are a considerable number of gaps and abbreviations he'd made that, for the life of him, he could not decipher. Arrows and little drawings that he vaguely remembers meaning something. Notes jotted down all across the page in seemingly no order that makes him want to toss his book out of pure frustration. 

He packs up after lunch determined to head to the library, as soon as possible, after his last class for the day, in order to actually find the missing information he needs.

* * *

  
When he slips out of his last class, right as they are wrapping up, what he doesn't expect is them. Their voice softer than he has ever heard it, calling out to him.

And he doesn't mean to snap at them. Not when they sound so lost but _that expression_. That blatant surprise when he mentions the library. It makes something ancient and burning flare up within his chest, something that has him wanting to scream. Wanting to grab them from the shoulders and shake them, _plead with them_ , make them see him and not just his brothers' words. 

But it's gone, fizziling out as quick as it came at the shocked expression that passes across their face. The hurt that quickly settles into it. And fuck, no, he never meant to hurt them. _They were never supposed to get hurt._ The guilt from that singular look swirled within him making him duck his head and mumble an apology, promising them he'll catch up before he's darting away towards the library.

* * *

He doesn't end up catching up instead he spends his time at the library, reading and rereading the same few lines. Even as the words blur in front of him and his mind refuses to take in anything else, instead choosing to focus on the grains of the table, the cobweb on the wall, the _drip drip_ of water that has him whirling around in his seat as he tries to find the source. 

Frustrated and angry that he can't even do something as simple as focus on the words in front of him he packed up his bag in a huff. Jamming the books back into it before remembering to check them out.

* * *

  
It's later than he expected when he heads back out, he has probably missed dinner. Lucifer was going to kill him.

* * *

  
" _Where were you._ The least you could try to do is have dinner with your family.You could have called and told me you were getting late. You could pretend to be responsible for once in your life, Mammon. _Have you ever even thought about how worri-_ "

He drifts off, staring at a spot on the wall as Lucifer's lecture becomes white noise. It's the same lecture he'd had the week before, and the month before that, and the century before that. _Irresponsible. Immature. A Burden._ He'd heard it all before. He always let himself drift off at around the same part. Let Lucifer's voice fade away as he thought of ways to improve whatever scheme he had got busted for this time. 

Today, however. Today he was tired. 

So he nodded, cutting Lucifer off mid rant, "Yeah I got it. I'm sorry, I'll make it back in time next time or call you." He walked around Lucifer, missing the other's bewildered look.

"Mammon," Lucifer said, as he got to the stairs, "is everything okay? Is it the witches? Your debts? Do you want me to-"

"Nah, everythin's fine. I'm goin' ta bed."

"There's dinner for you in the fridge. It's charmed so Beel can't get at it."

"Yeah, sure. Thanks, Bro. G'night."

"Good night, Mammon. You'll tell me if-"

"I will."

"Okay."

* * *

  
To his credit he keeps at it. However, frustrated it makes him, however much easier he knows it'll be if he just copies their notes, he doesn't. He keeps at it because he wants to prove them all wrong. _Wants to prove himself wrong._ Wants to show that there is something worth keeping in him. Even as his anger grows. Even as his frustration causes his eyes to tear and his teeth to grind. He keeps at it, because what else does he have.

* * *

  
In the end it all comes to a point, an ending and a beginning if you will, like all things are wont to.

* * *

  
It's eating away at him. 

The loneliness. 

Chipping away at him little by little.

He misses them. He misses his brothers. And he misses himself. 

The longing he feels is all consuming. Making his hands clutch at the scattered papers already full of words that he knows won't stick to him. 

The frustration that no matter how hard he tried he'd never be good enough. Would never measure up to Lucifer or Satan or any of them really. That to the human, his most noticeable trait, _his best trait_ , will always be that he is a greedy idiot has the tears spilling once again. 

And that just drives his anger. 

His helplessness. 

His chest aches and he yearns to scream, to throw his books and fly away. To somewhere dark, where he can curl up and nothing can hurt him. 

His true form shifts under his human skin, begging to be released, begging that he let himself turn into something _more animal._ Something that won't feel the hurt as sharply. He sobs harder.

That's when his door bursts open, startling him onto his feet and then the human is in his room, rushing towards him. Barely letting him get two words out before they nearly knock him over with the force of their hug. 

And shit. 

Shit. 

They're shaking. 

And fuck. 

_Why was he so fucking stupid._ He'd been everything Lucifer had ever said he was. _Irresponsible. Selfish. Immature._ He'd neglected them. Let his own emotions drown everything else and forgotten his duties. He was their first man. Lucifer had tasked him with protecting them. And he'd left them alone. _For days._

Worry bubbled, threatening to consume him as he pulled them away from him, letting his eyes quickly scan over their body for any sign of injuries. Finding none he instead shifted his focus to their face. "Hey. What's wrong? What happened? Did anythin' happen? Who hurt ya? I swear ta - _someone_ , are ya okay? If ya not I'm gonna-"

And then they were laughing. Hysterically. Uncontrollably. While tears poured down their face. They sobbed and hiccuped and Mammon pulled them to him. Threading his fingers through their soft hair and rubbing at their back like he had seen humans do in movies. His own damp cheeks forgotten even as his heart breaks and his mind screams _yourfaultyourfaultyourfault_. 

Working through the lump in his throat he apologises. He apologises, because that's all he can do. He apologises and _apologises_ and vows in his mind to find whoever hurt them. Find whoever made his human cry and _fight_ them. Be it Lucifer or another one of his brothers. He was not a violent demon. But for His Human? _For them, Mammon could try._

"Sorry," they say, when they pull away. 

"What was that for?" Mammon asks, not sure if he meant the hug, the tears or the apology.

"Guess I just missed you." They answer, smiling softly at him, looking at him as if there were something precious in his place.

He startles, choking out a single _'What!'_ , before he flushes, his mouth opening and closing soundlessly

"We all missed you Mammon." Their smile is still soft but he can identify a lie when he hears one. Maybe the human _had_ missed him. He was their constant companion after all, for better or for worse. _But his brothers._ His brothers he knew would rather enjoy his absence

It _hurts_ but he can't deal with the lie and tries through his pained stuttering to tell them as much, even as it hurts him. Hurts to acknowledge the lie. 

They stutter then, rushing and stumbling over their words like he had never heard them do before. Their eyes are wild as their nails dig into his arms

"What the hell are ya rambling about?" He asks, the words a little too harsh for his liking, but loud, harsh words are the only way he has ever learnt to mask the emotions swirling just underneath the surface.

"The text. I'm sorry I called you an idiot."

He snorted, looking away, because if he doesn't. If _he doesn't_ , he's going to prove right then and there what an useless demon he actually is. If he doesn't, the tears are going to flow out again and he's going to clutch at them and promise them _he tried and please please he tried so hard he just wanted one good thing one good quality they could be proud of and just-_

They're cupping his cheek. Gently turning his face towards them. Stroking it softly with their thumb as they look at him with wet blinking beautiful eyes. Their lips are trembling. Their expression speaking only of heartbreak.

Oh.

Oh no.

His own heart twists. Curling up into itself. And he hated this. Hated being vulnerable in a world where anything and everything could and would tear him apart for it. But for His Human? _For them, Mammon could try._

So he takes a deep breath and he lets go. Lets the words flow out faster than his brain can catch up to them, because if it does he doesn't think he'd be able to do this.

He doesn't look at them as his words inevitably die off and the tears finally fall out in front of them. The sobs are loud and uncontrollable. He presses his palms into his eyes, trying desperately to hold on to the last shreds of _The Great Mammon_ and failing miserably, when he feels their hands on his shoulders.

They pull him down on to his couch, and take hold of his arms, gently lowering them from his eyes, and tugging him towards their blurred figure. They tuck his face into the crook of their neck and stroke through his hair in that way that makes him want to purr. Now, all it does is make his mouth sour with something bittersweet, even as he selfishly presses closer into them.

"You're not an idiot Mammon. I was just- I was being stupid." And he opens his mouth, ready to disagree but they quickly cut him off, "No. I was. Just listen. I'm- No. Wait. Let me just. I take it back. _You are an idiot._ "

He tenses in their arms. _Right. Right. He should have known. Why did he let that small spark of hope catch flame so easily. Was he so pathetically desperate for even the smallest of praise? Stupid. Fucking stupid. Why was he so-_

"You're an idiot like Lucifer is an idiot for thinking Cerberus was an intimidating name and didn't just mean Spot," They say, whispering the words as they continue stroking through his hair. And he clutches on to them tighter, _tighter_ , even as their words stop his tears, even as he feels centred for the first time in the last three days, or maybe for the first time in the last few years. "Like I am an idiot for trying to pet Cerberus.-"

"YOU WHAT!?" 

Mammon jerks away from them, eyes wild as he takes them in frantically. _This was why he couldn't leave them alone! Stupid defective human! Weren't humans supposed to be made with a sense of self preservation!? What the hell happened to this one._

They are laughing. Softer than their usual cackles but just as bright and _he loves them, doesn't he._ What else can this warm, fluttering, all encompassing, _terrifying_ feeling be.

They cup his face again, making sure he's staring straight into their eyes when they say, "Like I am an idiot for thinking you already knew how much I treasure you."

What.

_What._

_What._

_That couldn't be right._

_Treasure._

**_Him!?_ **

He jerks back but they press on, holding on to his face and whispering their words to him as if he was the only one they were meant for, their eyes filled with so much...so much something, _withlovewithlovewithlove_ , that it makes his eyes water again. _And what the fuck was wrong with him!? Maybe he was the defective one here._

They lean forward then, pressing gentle kisses to his eyelids, that have him whimpering. Leaning in to them and whining when they draw back.

"You're an idiot for not realising how absolutely brilliant you are. How I would be dead if you weren't there." That word, **_dead_**. _Deaddeaddeaddead_. It almost draws him out of his trance with visions of their body bleeding at the bottom of the stairs, _falling limp in his arms_ , but then they're brushing back his bangs and his thoughts are only filled with one thought. _They love him._

They press their forhead to his.

_He thinks maybe they do._

He presses back.

_He thinks they looked at him, for all his faults, and looked at his brothers, for all their faults, and still picked him._

Their hands clutch at each other.

_They love him._

"You're an idiot for not realising how easy you make it to fall in love with you."

_And that's okay, because he loves them back just as completely and easily and unashamedly._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lemme know what you guys think! And hope you have a great day!!

**Author's Note:**

> Give me comments! Let me know how it was pls? I honestly live for that shit <3


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